Cold Feet or Not, I am Diving In

I have narrowed things down to sixteen fifteen photos. I have to make my final decision and get these prints sent off tonight. Wish me luck, people. I am still struggling with feelings of insecurity, but I'm sure that will pass.

8x10

My 8x10s arrived. I printed them with a bit of a border on the right and left so that the upper and lower parts of the photo weren't chopped off. I am pretty happy with how they look. Now I just need to matte and frame the one, and mail the other off to the person who purchased it. It's nice feeling knowing that this will either be hanging in someone's home or office.

Photo: Digital.

Cold Feet

I have cold feet. I am rethinking about submitting to Shots Magazine, but for some reason I am feeling like my work is not good enough to submit. It might just be hormonal or something, but I am feeling rather insecure.

Photo: self-portrait, film.

Logan

Logan has adjusted to being in our new home. I almost typed "finally" before that adjusted, but I stopped myself because three days to adjust seems more like a short while than a long while. The first night here, he was pretty much scared to go to sleep -- or maybe too excited -- but the second night, he was plain old stubborn (I think he gets that from his dad, or maybe from his mom, but probably from the both of us) and I sat with him and sang and talked to him while he "screamed it out." I was there, and so I know he wasn't so much scared as stubborn. Finally, I said, "Look, Logan, this is your bye-bye bed; this is your room; Mommy is here. You are tired. Go to sleep, butthead." And I left the room and shut the door. He yelled for about another 7.27 minutes, and I am guessing fell asleep. He slept for 14 hours. The next day, he seemed better and he even napped after crying for about 5.24 minutes. And last night, he went to bed without a peep. I am relieved. He's adjusted and in record time which leads me to believe he is a healthy, well-adjusted little guy.

Photo: Film, Logan watching TeleTubbies at our old apartment.

Moving Day, No Longer Boxed

We moved on Saturday, and in spite of reserving a truck with Budget Rental 72-hours in advance, and them not having it when we went to pick it up, we were able to move about 90% of our stuff on Saturday. We ended up going to a Uhaul and they had oe etruck left (and not to mention they had perfect customer service). A good family friend of our also unexpectedly showed up and helped us move our sofa and chair and entertainment center (the heaviest of our stuff), and so all-in-all things went smoothly.

Logan had a very rough night the first night sleeping here-- he really wanted to just "go home" to our old apartment in spite of his WOWs about moving here. Last night was better. I think mostly because he got up at 6 AM Saturday morning and stayed up 11 hours straight and conked out around 6 PM. He woke up this morning at 7:00ish. So if he refuses to nap today, at least he won't be a blubbering sap of a boy. He's been in and out of his room all morning playing with his toys in direct contrast of him screaming every time he tried to go in there (he's stubborn), and so I really think today will be better than yesterday.

All of our stuff is pretty much moved in. I just have about three or so very small boxes to unpack, and I might just leave them unpacked for a while. But it's pretty nice being here. It's odd to wake up in the morning and turn on some classical music, drink some coffee, and eat a slice a toast without the kids waking up. Our old situation consisted of Logan sleeping in the living room and the bathroom being right across from Molly's room, and so as soon as Chris opened our old bedroom door -- the very second -- Logan would start screaming and Molly would wake before she was completely rested. And so with the screaming and the soggy wet Pull-Up and me pre-coffee and Molly wanting in the bathroom and Chris showering and me staggering with a sinus headache trying to tend to two small children -- changing diapers, getting sippy cups, toast, and putting on coffee and all the while Chris trying to get ready and I still having to pee super bad, life was, quite frankly, hellish, but we managed like that for nearly a year-and-half.

But now... but now, I wake to peace and calm and coffee and toast and a hot shower all before the kids even get up. And Molly woke up first with a kiss and hug, and I could be 100% there to help her with a smile rather than a groaning and moaning grumble. It was nice this morning, and I am thankful that the Universe worked things out for us. Life is good, and I am grateful.