Remembering Where I've Been

I always have good intentions of keeping track of where I've been, but sometimes that I just get so caught up in the moment, that I just don't see the point of remember everything, but it's also nice to record progress, which to me, is the point of living. Progressing to where you can feel yourself changing and growing every day. As adults we so often loose that child-like growing (I think of my own kids and how every day I see and watch them change) and just become stagnant. I guess we figure that we grow up and then just grow old. It's the laws of nature. But the mind does not have to be that way, just our bodies. But the substance that makes us who we are keeps growing and expanding. So, maybe keeping track of that can be important. Anyways, I digress (i.e. ramble!). Here is what I've learned/done/wanna keep track of:

** I was able to get my dozen prints to Shots Magazine in time for their Feb. 1 deadline. I just received confirmation for USPS. I also ordered their self-portraits issue just because I really believe in this magazine. It's amazing seeing a magazie filed with photos rather than pages and pages of ads for things I cannot afford and/or do not need. Pick up an issue if you get the chance.

** I learned that I really enjoy shooting images of food. I've had such a love/hate relationship with food up until recently (I was heading into anorexia around the time I met my to-be husband) . But now I see that loving food is fine if you eat right and enjoy it and are thankful for what it does for the body rather than engorging oneself. Nothing wrong with that.

** I submitted a photo for a Jones Cola label. Pretty neat if you ask me.

** I have plans for a mini photo shoot. Nothing fancy, but I plan on shooting of a roll black and white along the railroad tracks behind our neighboor hood.

And that's about that. I am sure there were other things along the way, but I rather just keep those thoughts blurry and filed away.

Photo: Film, 35mm, shot with a FUJICA using manual exposure. More film images here.

Sometimes It Is

Sometimes things are greener on the other side especially when the other side provides you with basics you need to function properly. I've been sick for the past few days -- horrible snotty stuff -- and it's so nice being able to sleep soundly in my own bedroom letting Chris take care of everything else. In the past, there was no separation of sleep areas. If I happened to fall asleep in my former bedroom, and if Logan wanted to nap, I would be kicked out of the bed so Logan could sleep. (If I were in the room, Logan would want to play.)

I guess my point is that I am grateful to be able to function (or 'not function' [i.e. sleep]) when I need to.

I am thankful for the things that most people in traditional living situations probably take for granted every day.

8x10

My 8x10s arrived. I printed them with a bit of a border on the right and left so that the upper and lower parts of the photo weren't chopped off. I am pretty happy with how they look. Now I just need to matte and frame the one, and mail the other off to the person who purchased it. It's nice feeling knowing that this will either be hanging in someone's home or office.

Photo: Digital.

Blurry Bath Time Babies

I am learning to see past a technically "bad" photo to see the good that's really there -- the reality of the subject and the emotion rather than, oops, the focus is off. The thing about film that I used to find so frustrating (more so with my last two rolls) is the capturing a perfect subject but the photo quality is not so perfect. But when I look at this -- I mean, when I really look at this -- I see my children. My children. My beautiful, wonderful, perfect children and it overwhelms me with so much emotion. They love each other, and I see it here, and capturing that moment is what truly brings me joy. (I know I was giggling when I took this!) There is no longer a technical disappointment of "Oh, this is not good," but rather the emotional response and the joy of "Oh, this is so so so good."

Photo: Blurry bath time babies. Film.

Self-Portrait in Bathroom Mirror

This is the year I practice/learn how to shoot film. Film photography -- to me -- is very Zen. I slow down. I think about what I am doing -- what I want, what my purpose is, set the dials, take a breath and shoot. Then I wait. Sometimes an hour, sometimes a few days, sometimes nearly a week while waiting to finish up a roll. Then I look and it brings me a lot of happiness looking at tangible prints in my hands. Sound kind of weird, but it feels more real to me and solid even though I am just looking at images of something that have already passed. Not to mention no post processing. I got so used to altering reality (zapping out a zit here, erasing something that looked weird there), but for now, I just want to focus on reality and on here and now. Film does that for me. So, yeah, that's about it.

Photo: From roll #3, self-portrait in bathroom mirror.

Scarecrow Covered in Snow

Roll #1 shot just before Christmas turned out okay, I guess -- there was just one photo that I felt was actually good, and it was my first capture. I have a lot to learn to learn, and I'm anxious to take a PHOTO100 at my community college in May. I am pretty much about of creative ideas at this point. Besides the same mundane stuff I look at daily, there is nothing new or interesting going on in my head.

Photo: Scarecrow covered in snow.